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What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding: A Memoir, by Kristin Newman
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A funny, sexy, and ultimately poignant memoir about mastering the art of the "vacationship."
Kristin Newman spent much of her twenties and thirties buying dresses to wear to her friends' weddings and baby showers. Not ready to settle down and in need of an escape from her fast-paced job as a sitcom writer, Kristin instead traveled the world, often alone, for several weeks each year. In addition to falling madly in love with the planet, Kristin fell for many attractive locals, men who could provide the emotional connection she wanted without costing her the freedom she desperately needed.
Kristin introduces readers to the Israeli bartenders, Finnish poker players, sexy Bedouins, and Argentinean priests who helped her transform into "Kristin-Adjacent" on the road–a slower, softer, and, yes, sluttier version of herself at home. Equal parts laugh-out-loud storytelling, candid reflection, and wanderlust-inspiring travel tales, What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding is a compelling debut that will have readers rushing to renew their passports.
- Sales Rank: #11034 in Books
- Brand: Newman, Kristin
- Published on: 2014-05-20
- Released on: 2014-05-20
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.20" h x .70" w x 5.40" l, .51 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 304 pages
From Booklist
Television scribe Newman (How I Met Your Mother, The Neighbors) shares her comedic and romantic adventures abroad during the last decade-and-a-half. After spending her twenties in serious relationships yet afraid, ultimately, of settling down permanently, Newman got bit by the travel bug and discovered that the best way to battle her commitment phobia was to romance handsome strangers abroad. These brief “vacationships” satisfied Newman’s desire for excitement and passion while not making her feel trapped. She cavorted with a handsome bartender in Russia, a sexy former priest in Argentina, and an aggressive surfer in Brazil. Newman describes the exotic locales as lushly as she does her companions, taking armchair travelers to Iceland, Australia, and Israel and sharing some of her travel snafus, such as losing her passport in Buenos Aires and being deemed a potential terror suspect by Israeli authorities seemingly because she’s a single woman in her thirties traveling alone. Newman adeptly mixes humor and heart, making this the perfect read for anyone in search of love, adventures abroad, or both. --Kristine Huntley
Review
“Kristin Newman reminds me of David Sedaris, but with more joy.” –Diablo Cody
“Kristin Newman’s tales of wanderlust are at turns hilarious, embarrassing, and then truly inspiring. Her thrilling escapades make me want to get up off the couch and book a ticket to some exotic locale for a sexy adventure of my own. But I probably won’t. And neither will you. Just read the book.” –Jane Lynch
‘Kristin Newman explodes the idea of the ‘singles scene’ into a thousand tiny fragments and scatters them globally. This is misspent youth well-spent.” –Patton Oswalt
“What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding is kind of like if Eat, Pray, Love were written by your funniest friend—a laugh-out-loud life guide for anyone who needs some help enjoying being single. Or for anyone who already loves being single. Or for anyone who is married. Basically, whoever you are, Newman will make you want to chuck it all and book a trip to Argentina.” –Rachel Dratch
“Spoiler alert: I am the Will who drives a car over Kristin’s foot in the Dominican Republic. After writing with Kristin at That ‘70s Show, I knew that her book would be incredibly funny, but it’s also so heartbreaking, insightful, and full of adventure, romance, and sex sex sex! Do yourself a favor and read this book! Did I mention how funny it is and how much sex is in it?" –Will Forte
"If Mark Twain was a woman and he had actually done things in the countries he traveled to, he would have been a lot more pleasant. He also would have written this book instead of The Innocents Abroad. This book is so good that, of the many I have blurbed, this is the only one I read." –Joel Stein, columnist for Time, author of Man Made: A Stupid Quest for Masculinity
"I have had the pleasure of joining Kristin on some amazing adventures and can say without question that she is as good a writer as she is a traveler. Which is to say, slightly better when she's had a few glasses of wine." –Nick Kroll
“I love my husband and kids, truly I do—but reading What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding makes me want to buy a one-way ticket around the world, or rather two tickets—one for me and one for her—so we could party till dawn, flirt with hairy European men and break several international laws. Kristin puts the 'lust' in wanderlust and makes adventuring and even mis-adventuring sexy, fun, and at times even inspirational.” –Jill Soloway, writer/director
“Since we can’t all sit next to Kristin Newman at a dinner party, it’s a good thing she wrote What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding so we can all enjoy her funny and unexpected tales. Unlike the rest of us, Kristin took the road less traveled and that has made all the difference. Her sparkling wit and adventurous spirit will seduce you just as it did that guy in Argentina…and in Russia…and in Jordan…and so on...” –Nell Scovell, co-author of Lean In
“What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding is sly disguised as sexy. It reminded me of George Eliot mixed with a woodshop safety film... a complete delight.” –Stephen Tobolowsky, actor, author of The Dangerous Animals Club
"I wanted to read this book but my wife stole it off my nightstand, laughed at it for three nights straight and lent it to her friends." –Rodney Rothman, author Early Bird: A Memoir of Premature Retirement
"Kristin's book is such an uproarious, side-splitting, jaw-dropping-while-miraculously-somehow-also-self-reflecting page-turner, it makes me feel like I traded in my own wife and children for a time machine and a spot in her globetrotting duffel bag." –Rob Kutner, writer for Conan, author of Apocalypse How and The Future According to Me
"Riotously funny, brutally honest, and hopelessly romantic… Newman's global romps and brave takedown of the dated, divisive dichotomy between happy breeders and desperate singles is one of the most refreshing things I've read in a long time and proof that everyone has her own path to happily ever after." –Attica Locke, nationally bestselling author of The Cutting Season
"Newman’s funny and unflinchingly honest memoir reveals that even though there’s nothing quite like a great party in an exotic locale with a hot guy, true love doesn’t necessarily require a passport." –Publishers Weekly
"You should *not* judge a book by its cover, but luckily this one's as engrossing as its top flap, which I kind of wanted to dive into on sight. There are lots of books out there about being the single girl in your crowd, but Kristin Newman's is a special one; it's truly hilarious and travel-oriented, which makes it perfect for summer." –Glamour Magazine
"If you liked Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs, try What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding by Kristin Newman." –Boston Globe
About the Author
KRISTIN NEWMAN is a television writer who has worked in Hollywood for almost twenty years. She has written for That '70s Show, Chuck, How I Met Your Mother, and ABC's The Neighbors.
Most helpful customer reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
I loved it!
By budabugmama
Kristin's book is hilarious, raw, self-deprecating, honest, and insightful. As I read it, I rooted for her; I was heartbroken for her; I laughed with her; and I was taken in by her stories. "What I was doing while you were breeding" is not only a laugh-out-loud look into her international escapades - it also made me think. I could understand her relationship-over-analysis and romanticism, I appreciated many of the memorable messages in the book (from her dad: don't do anything until you've watched your friends do it first and learned from their mistakes; from her mom: would you rather have one scary moment or a whole summer of loneliness?). And I could relate to many of the insights she uncovered as she examined the last 10 years of her life. One of my favorite lines from the book: "...life is almost never about choosing between one thing you really want and another thing you don't want at all. If you're lucky, and healthy, and live in a country where you have enough to eat and no fear that you're going to get shot when you walk out your door, life is an endless series of choosing between two things you want almost equally." Can't wait to see the movie!
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
A Hilarious Read on Cultural Differences with Plenty of Naughty Bits
By Willie
I am a well travelled Northwestern alum so I felt a double affinity for the author from the start. Her book was one I read over two days while on the exercise bike at the gym. I broke out laughing so many times that my gym mates must have been wondering about me! But a book written by a comedy writer should do that to the reader!
Like Kirstin, I love to travel. In my case, I have been to 80 countries and lived in 9 of them for at least a year. Before I got married for the first time at 49, I traveled much like Kirstin and had more romances than I could count. But being male, that probably would be more culturally acceptable to many. Personally, I would not judge her differently than I judge myself. I doubt I would be brave enough to publish a book that included my romantic adventures, though, if it were not under a pen name. So I give her bonus points for bravery!
My only criticism is that she butchered quite a few place names and words in Spanish and Portuguese (my 2nd and 3rd languages). But her read on foreign cultures made up for that. Thanks, Kirstin, for writing this! And, of course, go 'Cats!
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Not your average travel memoir
By S. Patterson
I've recently gotten really into travel memoirs, mostly because I am really feeling the need to travel lately, but also because I won't be traveling much in the near future and thus turn to my tried and true books to temporarily transport me somewhere new.
This book immediately jumped out at me for the title and pretty cover, and a few short days later I was reading it. This is definitely a book that you'll decide is or is not for you within the first few sentences, and luckily I liked Kristin and her writing style right off the bat.
Each chapter is a different travel story and while some trips take place in the same country, each story is different from the last and equally as interesting as the others. If you're looking for a book that describes places, you'll probably be disappointed. Kristin's stories are focused on her travels, yes, but more so on the people (read: sexy men) she meets and falls in love with abroad. I found myself laughing out loud more than once while reading, even when I was in public and risked getting funky looks from those around me. Kristin is hilarious and I agree with other reviewers who said reading this book is like hanging out and drinking with your best friend while she tells you her crazy stories. You'll want to be Kristin's friend by the end, guaranteed.
When Kristin isn't sharing details about her travels and international boyfriends, she tells the reader about her career as a comedy writer in Hollywood. It's a nice change up and break in between her travels, especially since work is such a huge part of her life in addition to her ventures overseas.
I particularly liked Kristin's views on choosing one life path versus another and the fact that most of us often have some kind of longing for the path we didn't take - and that is OK. But she also discusses making major life changes and how it's a GOOD thing to sometimes miss what you had before even though you're excited about the new direction in your life, because it means you've traded "awesome for awesome."
This is a great book to read if you need to laugh or just want to read about another woman's crazy adventures. Read it whether you're in a relationship or not, married or not, have kids or not. At the very least, I guarantee it'll motivate you to go "do something in the place you're supposed to do it." I know it did for me. Great, fun read!
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